


Moving Forward

by 2pork



Series: under love's spell [3]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Gen, Past Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Soonyoung-centric, Wanna One 2park cameo, Wonwoo and Jun appear briefly, implied jigyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2pork/pseuds/2pork
Summary: The road to letting go is long and painful.(Sequel to part 2, Up in the Air)





	Moving Forward

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place a month after the events of Up in the Air, so please read that story before starting Moving Forward.

_1._

 

Wonwoo says to him, “I still think you gave up too easily.”

(Soonyoung recalls meeting Jihoon outside the other’s dorm. Recalls his red-eyed but impossibly blank face, and the softly uttered, “Soonyoung, do you have time to talk?” Recalls how Jihoon slowly broke in front of him, mumbling _I’m sorry, Soonyoung, sorry, I’m so sorry, I wish I could stop it_ with his voice thickened by tears.

Soonyoung had taken Jihoon into his arms then, unable to bear his sadness without offering comfort, even as Jihoon whispered into his chest, right over his heart, _You’re too good for me, Soonyoung. I want to love you back._

_“But Jihoon, I’m not. I’m not even good enough.”_

Soonyoung kept those words within him. He would have said them if it could’ve changed anything.

He recalls Jihoon’s trembling exhale at his silence, and the resentment he’d quickly crushed upon hearing it.)

“Did I?” Soonyoung replies, tone deliberately light. He doesn’t think so. Nothing about that time was easy. “I’m fine with things as they are now, though.”

Wonwoo looks at him, incredulity in every line of his face. “Are you?”

 

He isn’t.

 

But if this is all he can have, then shouldn’t he be?

Soonyoung smiles at Wonwoo. “Of course I am.” He turns away to where Jihoon has stopped by doors of the great hall, waiting for Mingyu to catch up. Their eyes meet for the briefest moment, and then Jihoon nods his head at him uncertainly. His pale neck is bare of the thick scarf Soonyoung usually wraps around him on mornings like this one.

Something in Soonyoung’s chest tightens.

This is all he can have, he reminds himself, this is all Jihoon can give him.

 

_4._

 

Soonyoung doesn’t want to hate Mingyu, and he doesn’t want to let on that he already does. It’s not difficult, at least not around Jihoon. In a castle this big, and with the different fields they’d decided to focus on, it’s so easy to hide in the rush of students, behind duelling club practices and time-consuming projects that don’t exist.

The hard part is being studied intently by Jihoon when he makes his excuses. The last thing he wants is to be caught lying when Jihoon has always, always depended on his honesty. To tell him when he’s going too far. To stop him before he hurts anyone.

The problem is that knowing Soonyoung is going out of his way to avoid being around Mingyu will hurt Jihoon, and that aches more deeply than not being around him.

Just this once Soonyoung lies, raising cool fingertips to touch Jihoon’s cheek. “When I’m less busy, you’ll regret ever asking me to make time for you,” he jokes, the words scratching at his throat painfully.

He hopes Jihoon never finds out. He hopes Jihoon will forgive him.

“I’m already starting to regret it,” says Jihoon as he brushes Soonyoung’s hand away. “See you soon?”

Soonyoung grins at him. He hopes, in a detached sort of way, that it’s the way he usually smiles at Jihoon. “Yeah. I’m looking forward to it.”

And he hopes that one day, he’ll mean it.

 

_9._

 

The duelling club has seen its fair share of scandals and successes, having always been deemed too dangerous to be deemed part of student activities. Only three years ago, a particularly dangerous hex used by a student (too confident in his own abilities, too sure of his own standing) had nearly toppled years of hard-earned assurance of safety.

Now the tenured members take turns to facilitate and monitor each practice with sharp eyes and unforgiving rigidity. It’s a lonely feeling, knowing the younger students can get by on their own when Soonyoung and his yearmates are gone.

 

“Hyung, you’re here,” one of the fourth years approaches the door when Soonyoung peeks in to check on everyone. “Aren’t you busy?”

Soonyoung punches him in the shoulder. “What are you implying, Woojin-ah?”

“That you’re ditching schoolwork,” Woojin says frankly. “You and Junhui-hyung.”

Soonyoung peers around him to find Junhui, who doesn’t even seem to be here for practice. The other seventh year has made a small fort out of the unused desks and is currently eating snacks under them while lazily pointing out where some movements could be more efficiently executed. He shrugs and turns back to Woojin, making an exaggerated humming sound that attracts more of the students closer to the door. “Is that _so_? Well I don’t see your other half attached to you at the moment, so clearly I’m not the only one _ditching._ ”

“I-I’m not _ditching—_ ” stammers Woojin, going red when the students who have gathered around Soonyoung titter in amusement. “And we’re not together all the time! Jihoon and I aren’t attached at the hip, that’s fake news!”

Soonyoung stalls at the familiar name. _Stop it,_ he thinks. It’s not his Jihoon.

And _his_ Jihoon isn’t exactly his either.

Soonyoung buries his fists in the pockets of his robe and smirks. “I’ll tell Seungkwan and Seokmin you think their radio’s fake news,” he sings aggravatingly.

“Ah, _hyung_ , that’s not what I meant!” Woojin whines, crossing his arms. “You know they’ll never let me live after that!”

Soonyoung chuckles, waving a dismissive hand. “Alright, coward. I’ll keep your little secret,” he laughs.

Just then, the door swings open again behind him and a head of fluffy hair bumps into his back with a muffled “oof!” “What—why are you standing at the door… oh, is this Soonyoung-hyung?”

He turns his head a little with a joyful grin. “Jihoon Two!”

Jihoon scowls, clearly offended. “Why am I Jihoon Two?”

“Because my Jihoon is Jihoon One, obviously.”

He doesn’t think his words would work to placate the other, so when Jihoon settles into a pensive expression, Soonyoung only continues smiling at him. “Then,” Jihoon says with a determined glint in his eye. “do I have to be yours to become Jihoon One?”

Soonyoung blinks. “Why, are you considering it?”

“ _He isn’t_ ,” interrupts Woojin, eyes narrowed and shoulders stiff. He stalks towards Jihoon and starts shoving his _friend_ outside by the shoulders. “We’ll be leaving now, hyung. It was great seeing you, please go back to your studies.”

“Hmm.” Soonyoung watches the two bicker down the hallway before the door of the training hall creaks shut. He hears someone come up beside him.

“What?” Junhui says, a bit indifferently. “Are you thinking that could’ve been you and Jihoon One?”

Soonyoung eyes him from his peripheral vision. “Are you looking to get punched?”

Junhui chokes out a laugh, unbothered by the mild hostility. “If I was, I’d just call Jihoonie Jihoon One to his face.”

For the first time in nine months, the thought of Jihoon (huffy, annoyed, grumbling “What the hell is a Jihoon _One_? Kwon Soonyoung, I know you’re behind this.”) brings a genuine smile to his lips. “Yeah,” he says, chuckling. “That’ll do it.”

 

_13._

 

It starts to hurt less.

On a freezing February morning, Soonyoung decides to surprise Jihoon outside his dorm. He doesn’t miss the way Jihoon’s shoulders slump when he sees him for the first time in a very long time, and he rubs at Jihoon’s cold cheeks, cooing, inconspicuously wiping away the tears that have welled up in his best friend’s eyes. He pretends not to notice when Jihoon presses closer to his hands.

“You’re back,” Jihoon murmurs. “Are you not busy anymore?”

“Busy…” Soonyoung lets go of Jihoon, tucking his hands into his sides. He heaves a fortifying breath as he confesses, “About those things. I lied. I’m sorry.”

Jihoon ducks his head. There is no anger in his voice, nor disappointment, only a bone-deep exhaustion when he says, “I know that. I should have talked to you about it before. I’m sorry too, for waiting.”

He looks up at Soonyoung, with the same uncertainty that was in his eyes months ago. “Are we okay?” he asks.

Soonyoung smiles at him, feeling warm with the love he still has for Jihoon. “Of course we are.”

“Then come on,” Jihoon says, leading the way to the great hall for breakfast. “You said you’d make me regret asking you to make time for me.”

Soonyoung follows.

**Author's Note:**

> A lot shorter than part 2, and absolutely no resolution between Mingyu and Soonyoung.
> 
> :D
> 
> 1, 4, 9, and 13 are the number of months after Mingyu and Jihoon started dating. I'm so lame??
> 
> Let me know what you think in a comment!


End file.
